|Rewards in Full||Top This!||The Underground Railroad, Part 1|
Courtney’s cousin, Hannah, has moved into town. Suddenly, Courtney is acting strange. She’s much more competitive than usual, mainly because Hannah is much more competitive with Courtney. The two cousins have been rivals for a long time. Hannah always feels she needs to top Courtney, which makes Courtney feel that she needs to top Hannah.
Things get even worse when Hannah visits Courtney’s Sunday school class. When Hannah learns that Courtney is in charge of a bake sale fund-raiser for the church youth camp, Hannah immediately springs into action. She comes up with an alternate idea, a car wash. Both ideas work well, but that’s not good enough for either girl. Soon they are both involved in a flurry of fund-raising ideas, everything from door-to-door gardening to five-mile runs to softball marathons.
Courtney and Hannah aren’t the only ones doing marathons, though. When Cryin’ Bryan Dern’s radio station decides to become a 24-hour, all-polka channel, Dern goes nuts. He takes over the place, doing a marathon session to save the station! Dern nearly kills himself on the air. But to no one’s surprise, the station’s change to polka and Dern’s on-air marathon are revealed to be publicity stunts, thought up by Cryin’ Bryan! The stunts work. The station manager thinks Dern is a genius. But Bryan is nearly dead with exhaustion!
Meanwhile, Jack tells Courtney that this constant competition with Hannah isn’t doing either of them any good. Courtney agrees, but isn’t sure how to stop it. Jack suggests a novel approach, let Hannah win. Courtney tries Jack’s idea. It seems to work, and instead of being constant rivals, they turn into fast friends.
 Discussion Questions
- Why were Courtney and Hannah so competitive with each other?
- Have you ever felt that way about someone? How did you handle the situation?
- Jack suggested that the way for Courtney to stop the competition would be to let Hannah win. Can you think of another way?
|Bryan Dern||Corey Burton|
|Casey Parker||Barry Stigler|
|Courtney Vincent||Sara Buskirk|
|Erica Clark||Erin Love|
|Hannah (b)||Michelle Stacy-Hanna|
|Mrs. Hogan||Mary Kay Bergman|
|Jack Allen||Alan Young|
|Johanne Schmingee||Barry Stigler|
- How many times has this happened to you? You're happily eating spaghetti, twirling your fork into a nice ball of pasta... and suddenly...you run out of fork! You've got another three yards of spaghetti to twirl, and you have no fork to put it on. What can you do? (BEAT) Introducing Jumbo Fork--the biggest fork you'll ever see in your life! Get Jumbo Fork--and get it all in your mouth! Available at Pete's Gas n' Chow, your beef jerky co-op.
- In the February 10th podcast, John Campbell says he has no idea what the man was really saying in the "What is He Saying Contest", even though John sang it. He was simply told to adlib. So if the guy singing it doesn't know what he was saying, nobody does!
 QuotesBryan Dern: You know, I was thinking about it, and I wonder if maybe that song needs something. I dunno, maybe, uh, WORDS?! And I think the accordion player could use a SEDATIVE...I'm just gonna play another song. This one is called 'The Sheboygan Shuffle'. Somebody knock me out, I'd like to be unconscious for awhile.
Bryan Dern: And that was, once again, my favorite song. Stay tuned and I'll play it again in a couple of minutes. This is Cryin' Bryan Dern, making it up as I go along! I'm now in my 25th straight hour. It's been one day, and, oh, 30 cups of coffee since I took over the studio and I'm feelin' great! And if anybody tries to come in here and get me... That includes you, Casey... I see you out there, sneaking around... I'm gonna take this coffee here and pour it into about $50,000 worth of equipment! People, there's nothing scarier than Bryan Dern when he gets his second wind!...I'm giving away polka CDs. Lots and lots of polka CDs. Be the seventh caller right now and you get a copy of 'The Best of the Schmitkee Trio!' What a fabulous edition this will be to someone's music library...Yes, congratulations, you're my seventh caller...You have just won hours and hours of polka fun! This CD could be the Polka standard by which all other polka is measured! The Schmitkee trio has always been a lighthouse in a sea of polka mediocrity... Play it long, play it loud, Johann, and my deepest apologies to Johann Schminkie's neighbors.
Bryan Dern: This is Cyrin' Bryan Dern goin' into my 95th hour of being on the air. Whaddaya wanna do? Maybe I should play a song. Here's one. I can't tell you what it is, 'cause my contact lenses have become a permanent part of my eyeball and everything's... kinda blurry. I can't seem to get this disk in the player. Forget it. Maybe I should sing a little song... Wow. I never knew my thumb could do this. I know. Let's have a moment of silence for... somebody. Are we at war or anything? C'mon, give me some ideas people...
Caller: Yes, my hamster's been kind of sick lately.
Bryan Dern: Perfect. What's your hamster's name?
Bryan Dern: Great! Let's have about an hour of silence for Binky. Wake me up when you're done.
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- http://aiolib.com/episodes.php?season=9&epmode=detailed#episode313%7C Odyssey Library
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- http://www.aiosoda.com/episodes_view.php?episode=313%7CSoda Fountain
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