I Want My B-TV!

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#298: “I Want My B-TV!”
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Philippians 4:8

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

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I Want My B-TV!

“I Want My B-TV!” is episode #298 of the Adventures in Odyssey audio series. It was written and directed by Phil Lollar, and originally aired on January 21, 1995.

Summary

Bernard Walton and the gang at Whit's End create a new television variety show.

Plot

Bernard is cleaning the local television station and overhears a conversation between station manager Guy Feldstein and his program supplier. Mr. Feldstein is unhappy with the quality of the programs the supplier is sending him. They all seem to be about dinosaurs. Bernard tells Mr. Feldstein that he knows of several local people who could probably put on an entertaining show.

Mr. Feldstein loves Bernard’s idea. Bernard goes back to Whit's End, gathers the gang, and tells them that they are now all part of a television variety show. They brainstorm ideas and come up with a variety of sketches, jokes, and fascinating facts about many subjects. The gang even amusingly retells an old fairy tale. Welcome to “B-TV”!

Discussion Questions

  1. Why is it important to be careful about what you listen to and watch?
  2. How can TV shows, movies, and music affect how we live?
  3. What do you think the Dudley and Mudley sketch was really about?
  4. Think about the Percival sketch. What is the best way to study the Bible?

Cast

Role Voice Actor
Ananias Will Ryan
B-TV Announcer Corey Burton
Bernard Walton Dave Madden
Blarney Phil Lollar
Connie Kendall Katie Leigh
Courtney Vincent Sara Buskirk
Dudley Phil Lollar
Eugene Meltsner Will Ryan
Garfunkle Corey Burton
Guy Feldstein Corey Burton
Jack Allen Alan Young
Mudley Corey Burton
Percival Will Ryan
Peter (Biblical) Alan Young
Picasso Corey Burton
Pollock Corey Burton
Priscilla Katie Leigh
Sam Johnson Kyle Ellison
Sapphira Katie Leigh
Van Gogh Katie Leigh


Notes

VERSION DIFFERENCE: [view] In the broadcast version, immediately after the break, Bernard goes into his Percival story. However, in the album version, Sam starts telling a bunch of corny Bible jokes that are brushed off.

Trivia
  • In this episode, the variety show “B-TV” was born. Originally, it was called “C-TV,” hosted by Connie. But the team felt that the best person to fill that role was Bernard, a natural storyteller.
  • Guy Feldstein uses a catchphrase, "quality but cheap," while talking to a supplier about shows. He later uses the same phrase in other episodes he appeared in.
  • Eugene's (rather humorous) attempt at telling the story of the Three Little Pigs was originally going to be used for the episode "#277: “It Happened at Four Corners”", but it had to be cut for time.
  • This episode was made into an AIO Activity Pack, I Want My B-TV!
Allusions
  • This episode contains many pop culture references and parodies, including:
    • The rejected TV shows featured in the opening scene include parody references to Superman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Barney & Friends, and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
    • The Garfunkel name is a reference to the 70's musical duo Simon and Garfunkel.
    • The title of the "Lyin' Thing" skit is a reference to The Lion King, Disney's highest-grossing animated film; the skit even uses the phrase "circle of life."
    • When Dudley is said to be a social climber, he is heard greeting "Donald and Marla", in reference to Donald Trump and his then-wife Marla Maples. Dudley also mentions "having tea with the Rockefellers and the Barrymores", both prominent families in banking and the entertainment industry, respectively.
    • The first bumpers include a spoof of Saturday Night Live's "Live from New York, it's Saturday night" opening lines.
    • The episode title itself is a spoof of the "I Want My MTV" promotional campaign from the early years of the cable network.

Quotes

Eugene: In a certain era, there lived a trio of swine who struggled to construct protective domiciles from the imminent attack of the malevolent Canis lupus.

Blarney: (very bad singing) I hug you. You hug me. We're a hugging family. Hi, kids. I'm Blarney, the Rhinosaur. I hug you.

Dudley: Tapestries! Where are my tapestries?

Sam Johnson: Why didn't they play cards on Noah's ark?
Courtney Vincent: Why?
Sam Johnson: Because Noah sat on the deck!

Sam Johnson: What man in the Bible had no parents?
Courtney Vincent: I give up.
Sam Johnson: Joshua, the son of Nun!

Guy Feldstein: You know my morning kids program?
Bernard Walton: Yeah, 'Soapy Waters and the Suds Factory'? Oh, sure. I like him. <singing> "Listen to me, all you mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters; it's time to clean your TV screens with me! I'm Soapy Waters." Heh, heh, heh…

Mudley: Aluminum siding! I'm tellin' ya, you can't go wrong!

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